Thursday, August 9, 2012

The feeling of No Progression

The feeling of No Progression

      This summer has been a fun filled summer, with a side of drama fo' yo mama.  Things that I'd rather not talk about, and haven't really found someone to vent about it either.  But then I thought, if I vent about it, I'm putting that negative ambiance in the atmosphere which isn't doing anything for my progression.  So I thought back on the good times growing up...HANGING OUT WITH FRIENDS (which now that I'm married seems to be harder to do since everyone has moved on to bigger and better things.)...SHOPPING (and that requires money, that I don't have right now.)...QT TIME WITH FAMILY (seems to be happening, but feels like somethings missing...PAPA.) ....BEACH (lucky I live Hawaii) ....BAKING (sucks because i'm tryna lose weight, and if I'm going to making blissful happiness in a bowl, you know i'm gonna wanna eat it.).  

      I'm pretty sure I don't know everything there is to know about life, and what it's all about.  What I do know is that Heavenly Father wants us to be HAPPY.  Have you ever been stuck in a place where you are trapped?  What would you do about it if you had no other choice but to just live with it?  How would you deal with it?  I'm dealing with it right now, I do what makes me happy at the time, and then there is something that just kills the whole moment of happiness (pass judgments, inconsiderate hate, insecure satisfaction).  There are things in this life that I'm not happy about, there are decisions that I've made that I wish I have done the right way the first time around.  The fact of the matter is that we all have, and who are we to judge others.  WE'RE NOBODY'S in another persons life.  We can only be SOMEBODY in our own lives.  IF WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN OUR OWN LIVES, we SUB-CONSCIOUSLY CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN OTHERS LIVES.  In the mean time if we can't help ourselves, we are in no shape to help others.  

     The FIRST PRESIDENCY MESSAGE in the JULY ENSIGN, President Uchtdorf  message called ALWAYS IN THE MIDDLE is so fitting for the recent events, feelings, and perspectives that I have had with the past month of July.  He states,
      "Beginnings are times for making resolutions, for creating plans, for bursts of energy. Endings are times for winding down and may involve feelings of completion or loss. But with the proper outlook, considering ourselves as in the middle of things can help us not only to understand life a little better but also to live it a little more meaningfully."

I thought to myself where do I stand?  At the beginning of marriage?  Starting  a family?  Or am I still in the middle of helping my own Nihipali family before I can start of have my own Lavaki family?  But I kept reading...


"This change in perspective is more than a simple trick of the mind. There is a sublime truth behind the idea that we are always in the middle. If we look at our location on a map, we are tempted to say we are at a beginning. But if we look more closely, wherever we are is simply in the middle of a larger place."


I'm happy to announce that I'm happily dealing with being in the middle, because it get's better.  There is hope for me to continue to be happy, and experience the good & bads of the beginnings & endings of what ever chapter it is that I am either beginning or ending.  President Uchtdorf goes on to say,


"Yes, there will be moments of beginnings and moments of endings throughout our lives, but these are only markers along the way of the great middle of our eternal lives. Whether we are at the beginning or the end, whether we are young or old, the Lord can use us for His purposes if we simply set aside whatever thoughts limit our ability to serve and allow His will to shape our lives."


With all my thoughts that have held me back from progressing, or feeling like I'm not progressing, I've been resisting the will of my Heavenly Father in allowing him to shape my life with the blessings that I have been unintentionally denying.  



Twiddle dee & Twiddle Dumb
ON A POSITIVE NOTE....

This summer has been a eventful one.  I got to see all of my babies off to bigger better things.  Suaesi is now going to Rainbow School.  Tekiato just started at Bright Beginnings.  Tausala is still here but never ceases to amaze us with her presence.  We got to enjoy our summer together with family all around us.  With the Kekuaokalani's visiting from Kona to our Azonto music video.  We had many laughs, cries, fights, lots of memories that will last us a lifetime, all the way to the Eternities.  




Ward Camp was definitely an experience with at least 7+ kids to keep us company.  Long beach days, tonz of food, great laughter, enjoying the relaxing sea breeze.  


Nolo was suppose to finish work this coming September, but we were blessed to have him stay on board a bit longer.  And we will see where Heavenly Father will take us from there.

I was blessed to have a temporary position at BYU-Hawaii and will finish up in the end of September.  The experience here will definitely count in the long run, as I strive for a masters degree in Library Science.





Grateful for this community that I live in.  I know that I will never find a place quite like it.  Laie is HOME, and will always be.